AOL Got Freaky

David Shing: Freak

I vaguely remember AOL. The insane per-minute charges. The censorship. The ubiquitous CDs, the really, really bad design. But most of all, I remember it taking a complete nose dive once it tried to acquire Time Warner (disclosure, I worked for Time Warner right before the "merger" so I can totally sit back and chortle with impunity).

Some said it was the worst-planned merger in history (and really, it was an acquisition). I'm pretty sure that the digitally-handicapped Time Warner management had no idea what being online was about, so that might have had something to do with it.


But mostly, I think that any corporate culture that allows this to happen is pretty doomed from Day 1. AOL has descended into the underworld of gross tech companies, as witnessed by the fact the CEO just eviscerated the 401k plan and based it on the (imaginary) double whammy of Obamacare and two women's medical misfortune. Classy. And potentially lawsuit-worthy.

David Shing holds the impossibly pretentious title of "Digital Prophet." For real. Let's take a look at this trainwreck:

So what are some his "prophecies?" Um, dunno, cause I was just watching with my jaw on the ground. Something like "communities matter" and being "excited about people and brands in 2014!"

Excited about PEOPLE and BRANDS! They're the same thing! See what I did there? Bloody brilliant I am.

I need to go lie down.