Best Practices!

Just please don't do this.

Words For the Dumpster
The New York Times, 29 December, 2013

A warm and grateful hug to this author.

I think my all-time favorite malapropism is "sametimeously." Although "all intensive purposes" comes in as a close second. Irregardless, the list is by no means exhaustive. If I had a nickel for every time... you get it.

You Need to Hire a Writer. Trust Me: Part I

in which I shine a harsh light on why this world would be a lot more difficult without writers.

This letter, this one right here, received from the otherwise literate State of California made me do an imitation of a dog watching TV.

If you’re tripping on mescaline and this make perfect sense to you, please email me immediately because I may, or may not, have to do something about this.

I think the coup de grâce is that it ends in the conditional tense… also, just in case you didn’t know. But you’ll need your IVR code number. Or maybe not.

You Need to Hire a Writer. Trust Me: Part II

in which our selfless protagonist explores meaning, deception and redemption.

Let’s just take a look at this:

Are you a “forward facing professional [sic]?” Sometimes during the day, I look forward, as in facing forward. Other times, especially when anxious, I might be backward-looking or “recursively-optimized.”

Let’s just break this down: